We're... breaking up?
Because you failed at the hula-hoop?
First Love Monster
I couldn't make it over the wall that I am to myself.
So the only thing to do is to break up.
But you were only three away from your 200 target!
If you round up, that was 200!
Round up... shisha gonyu...
"The five-breasted dead"
"Boi-oi-oi-oing"
– So many boobs...
– Did... did you say "boobs"?
"So many boobs..."
"Did... did you say "boobs"?"
– So many boobs... So many boobs...
– I bet Kanade's picturing something else entirely.
Kanade...
I don't want to break up.
Not when I've just reaffirmed that I do love you.
Kaho...
Kanade!
Kanade... don't you get one last chance?
One last chance?
Huh?
It's cool to be hard on yourself and all,
but isn't a never-give-up spirit what makes a real man?
You have a point...
Kaho, will you give me one last chance?
Yes, of course!
Then... we'll throw triplefin for it.
"Congrats on the Huge Catch!"
Triplefin?
Er, whoever wins three rounds of rock-paper-scissors is the winner.
You say "Triplefin!" as you throw.
Okay, Kaho... let's do this!
What, with me?!
Ready, and...
Triplefin! Triplefin!
Triplefin!
Kaho... you're good at this.
Why did I have to go and win three in a row?
I guess this is fate.
Farewell.
Poof.
Kanade...
Miss Nikaidou!
Why the face?
If you like Kaho, you should be glad they broke up.
Why'd you even mention that "one last chance" stuff?
I just... I don't want to see the person I like looking sad...
Well, in a sense,
you did finish them off in the lousiest way possible.
From the moment we met... though I didn't know why...
I was attracted to him... he made my heart pound...
Soon Kanade was all I could think about.
Dating or broken up:
I doubt words like that will change my relationship with him.
I'm sure my beloved Kanade will still be there tomorrow.
I don't need to be his girlfriend right now.
If we can't love at the same speed... I'll wait till we can.
Come tomorrow, I know Kanade will be the same.
Sending My Feelings... (To the Bathroom)
Brrrm! Boosh! Screee!
Good morninja!
Here: the Kanade Times!
– Good boy.
– He's the same old Kanade, all right!
– Okay, so gimme your seaweed!
G-Good morning, Kanade!
Eh?
"Eh?"
You okay?
I don't need breakfast today...
Why did you ignore her?
We broke up.
I'm not the type to be friends with my exes.
– You have never dated before—how can you be a "type"?
– Looks like he's seen some less-than-wholesome TV shows.
Once you break up, not being nice is best for both of you.
Did your mom tell you that?
You just do whatever she says, don't you.
You love your mother? Like, an Oedipus complex?
Are you mad?
Kids get mad when you tell them they have an Oedipus complex.
There's nothing wrong with loving the person who gave birth to you.
And I don't do whatever she says.
I'm just trusting the words of someone I love and trust.
That's very true.
I was wrong. Sorry.
'S okay.
Must be lonely, not being able to see your mom.
I'm not lonely. Everyone's here with me.
Everyone...
I'll show you Namiko's upbeat riding style!
"Kaneko Namiko (Tomu's Mom: Former Head of the Lady Greasers)"
The demanding game of diving through a hula-hoop you have thrown
requires the leg strength to run alongside the hoop
and a high level of balance, plus flexibility and decisiveness,
when jumping through it.
Records tell of five princes in ancient Greece playing this game
to determine who would take the throne,
and the theory that this was the origin of the Ol*mpics
is today considered the most credible.
Gin, it's your turn!
But it's a dangerous game... can you keep up?
The more dangerous the game, the more exciting it is.
I'll show you a man's game that will really make your crotch sting!
What?! Instead of going through the hoop, he ran past it!
Uh-oh—this isn't good!
It's gonna hit your w**ner!
Wha—he actually did it!
Not so fast!
Huh? Backspin?!
R-Right between the cheeks!
Why do you think I'm always training my sphincter muscle, huh?
I should have known: your w**ner and your butt have airtight defenses!
Next up is Kanade. Your turn!
Go on!
I don't have the right to use one of those anymore.
I see.
So you broke up with her?
If only I'd played a rock...!
Aw, chin up.
There are as many women as stars in the sky—
that's what my big brother said.
We have some in our clinic, too. Wanna stop by?
Gin, Tomu...
Thanks.
Cut it out—you're making us blush!
That is what friends are for!
– I do know this isn't what I meant by "waiting for Kanade"...
– Should we get a teacher?
But I'm curious about him.
Oh, Kanade—
G-Going home, Takahashi?
Yeah, Tomu and Gin are in the bathroom. I'm waiting for them.
Kanade, I heard you broke up with your girlfriend.
Yeah, high-school girls are over the hill.
I'm glad we're through.
Man, what's taking them? Oh, they might be pooping!
They did have seconds at lunch.
U-Uh, yeah, being growing young men and all...
So am way, I'm a free agent now.
Really? Then maybe I'll put in a bid!
Er, excuse me?
Yes, what? Can't you see I'm bus—
Um, what exactly are you doing here?
I-It's not what you think!
I'm not a deviant or anything, I just... um...
I know! I'm just a high-school girl interested in a primary-school boy!
Come with me.
Y-You have got it all wrong!
What is it?
I guess I'm just hearing things.
Thanks for waiting, figure skating!
You fed up? It's a setup!
Bye, Fukaya.
Later, gator!
A moment, if you please?
Hup!
I'm terribly sorry for the disturbance.
No, not at all...
Hey, it's Kazu's muttler.
Mutt? His pet?
Yeah, Kazu's pet.
Such gracious words!
Master Kanade, Master Tomu, Master Gin...
Would you please lend me, Makurazaki Munemitsu, your assistance?
Master Kazu is in certain crisis!
The setup!
In the ten years since I began my service at the weaning ceremony
100 days after his birth,
"Bath"
"Akemi's Bar"
I have never seen the young master in such a state.
"School Entrance Ceremony" "Bamboo Primary School"
Unbelievably, that perfect young master...
...is confusing his Tuesday and Wednesday schedules!
Failing to arrange his pencils by length in their case!
Even misbuttoning his shirts!
Kazu is?!
You could probably let that stuff slide...
That must be why. His temperature is 36.2,
so he is staying home from school.
Kazu is?!
That's a normal temperature.
It would appear that the young master
"pull pull gnaw pull"
has been stricken with lovesickness!
Huh?!
Huh.
Please, I beg of you! Seek out the object of his affection!
And when she is found...
– ...for the young master's sake, I, Makurazaki, will...!
– Yikes!
All right.
We're on the case!
They see the single truth for what it is,
and look like adults but have the minds of kids!
Their name? The Bamboo Primary Young Detective Squad!
And with that, the Young Detective Squad is in business!
C'mon, Jigen!
Yep!
"Jigen"
Goemon!
"Goemon"
Aren't those thieves, not detectives?
Okay, so according to our witness's testimony...
A short while ago,
I fell in love with the owner of this poem notebook.
Her tears and her pure heart poured out in these pages touched me so...
– Pure...
– Poem?
No luck.
Which means Kasumi House wasn't the scene of the crime.
So where was this going on?
It didn't happen in the gym!
Not in the infirmary, either.
Then the bathrooms? We can't block those off!
That's... the police, not detectives.
A girl we've never met...
I've solved the whole mystery!
My grandfather's name is Yonekichi!
Idiot.
The culprit... is Bathroom Hanako!
Yay!
Um, I know I kind of got swept up into following you here,
but I'm going to head back.
S-Say what?!
Hanako... is that her name?
Yep. Our flawless deductions led us right to it.
I see... So her name is Hanako.
And where does she live?
I hate to tell you this, but...
In the bathroom!
I-In... the bathroom?!
"Bathroom Hanako"
Our search revealed that she's always in the bathroom.
No way would a lady live somewhere like that!
Maybe she's got a bad stomach.
Ah—so she's pooping.
What a rude thing to say about a lady!
No, Kazu. Even women get upset stomachs sometimes.
But that means Hanako is suffering alone in the bathroom even now...
Why don't you get some medicine to her?
"Due to Kazu's lovesickness, there's a severe shortage of straight men for gags.
I, the future OB/GYN, agree.
Please provide your own straight-man comedy."
B-But to enter a bathroom with a lady present...
I-It's far too early!
What are you saying, Kazu?
The woman you love is suffering!
I couldn't ignore that if it were me.
If it were me...!
Kanade?
Kanade broke up with his girlfriend.
What? Is that true, Kanade?
It's all over.
I'm sorry. I—
But it's not all over for you.
Get that medicine to the one you love with your own two hands!
Kanade... what a guy...!
C'mon, Kazu!
See? We've got the medicine ready.
Tomu... Gin...
Why all the snooping around... Kouta?
More of your usual eavesdropping, eh?
Pure trash as ever.
N-No! Kanade just came back really hyped up...
I didn't want to get involved.
Yeah, you're a nice toy for those brats.
Who are you calling a toy?!
All right!
The Young Detective Squad is on the move!
Detectives?
Yeah.
Just between us...
...our sleuthwork has revealed who Kazu's mystery woman is.
Kazu? Oh, that normal primary-schooler.
Seems it was love at first sight when he saw her pure poems
at our place yesterday.
Love at first sight, eh?
Her name is Bathroom Hanako!
And if we can get the two of them together, it'll be case closed!
I see...
Okay, we're off to the scene!
Now hang on a sec, Kanade!
Bro!
I heard all about it. Don't be gettin' one up on me, now!
This is a job for Takahashi Jouji, primary-school detective of the west!
Are you joining us, Bro?!
The western Takahashi'll step forth with the eastern Takahashi!
It's Takahashi all the way down!
Um, so... I'll just be going...
You know something about this.
I-I don't.
You know what will happen if you don't tell me... right?
Actually... Kazu's mystery girl...
...is probably me, dressed as a girl.
Huh!
Ah! You look like you just got a juicy scoop!
Maaaybe.
Infiltration complete.
Oof!
To the school building!
– Roger!
– Yep!
Dodger!
For the class president to be doing such a thing...
No—not as long as it's for her.
How did I get dragged into this?
Children need supervision, right? Come on.
What's that?
Hanako's poem notebook.
I thought I'd return it the next time I saw her...
...so I've kept it on me.
I see... You know, she might just be a lot closer than you think.
Yes, I never thought we'd be at the same school.
What the heck?
It's locked!
Well, it is night...
So that makes this a locked room?
Well, it's not a room.
– Anybody there?!
– Kanade!
A locked room? That's the perfect crime!
The primary-school detective of the west'll solve this for sure!
Wait, Bro!
We might have been way wrong about all this!
Whatcha mean, Kanade?
How could Hanako have gotten into the school if it's locked?
You're right... Teachers should be the only ones with keys to the school.
Hang on: then Hanako can't get into the bathroom!
Isn't this conversation taking a strange turn?
Oh, what's the harm?
Maybe Hanako could get in without a key.
Yeah, but Kanade... if that's true, then...
Hanako's really a...
No, that's too unscientific to be true!
Didn't you know?
Bathroom Hanako...
...is a ghost.
Q?
Atsushi, are you serious?
Oh no, oh no, oh no!
I just remembered something I have to do.
No, Gin is not running away.
I spotted the entrance to the continent of Mu over there is all.
Y-Y'all are a buncha babies if y'all are scared of a li'l ghost...
Hanako's a ghost?
So I'm betting the girl you like is not Bathroom Hanako.
G-Guys?
Aw, they left!
Kids are the best.
If you were going to tell them she was a ghost,
you should have told them right away!
Who's there?
You handle this, you stupid spook!
Let's go.
Ah! Wait up!
Hey, you! Stop right there!
Hanako...
We can't be having this, you know.
Pulling this nonsense twice in one day?
I don't know what made me db it!
Poop!
– Poop!
Why are you so excited to be talking about p—er, number two?
"The School-Pooping Problem"
Now, it seems there were once many children who couldn't p—
– ...go number two in the school bathrooms.
– My turn at last! Phew!
Yeah, we were like that when we were kids.
Arashi! It's the other way around!
Your spoken line and your inner monologue are switched!
Found out, eh?
It sure was rough back then.
Once they found out you did number two at school,
you'd get stuck with the nickname "Pooperman" till graduation.
So what did you do when you had to poop?
Just hold it till you get home... maybe?
What if you couldn't?
If ya don't wanna get caught, do it before anyone sees ya.
The Naniwa Speed Coaster is a speedy pooper, too!
But why hide it? Everyone poops, right?
Amen. Heck, I always tell the girls before I'm off to poop.
Please, Gin, show some restraint.
But it really was rough.
I don't go to the bathroom.
Huh?
Yeah, but...
I don't.
T-Taga?
I don't.
Are you an idol?
Tanaka Ken here.
Coming up on First Love Monster...
Tanaka. Ken. Tanaka Ken here.
Kaho's affections take a strange turn after splitting with Kanade. Kanade's not himself after splitting with Kaho. That's when Kaho goews missing from Kasumi House...
All on the next First Love Monster:
Next Time "Kanade's Telephone Helpline"
"Kanade's Telephone Helpline."
Sorry. I'm off today.